Flailing

Happily its me and not the dogs that are flailing about a bit.  I'm struggling to keep my drive and ambition alive. Beli was the definition of what I strive to create in my dogs.  Even though that memory is not dead I still am struggling to keep the desire to work the dogs.  For what reason do we push?  Is it the awards and ribbons, not for me its not.  I don't care what happens at a trial any more; I've had success there and it is short lived.  I won't disagree that it feels good while you are there but doesn't really have any staying power.  I want to strive for strong dogs that take control of stock and maintain that control to succeed at the job we've set out to do.  Trials are rarely that; it is usually a chess match to see who can outsmart whom.  Often it becomes a handlers game, who handles the dog through the course best?  That doesn't tell us anything about the dog but it looks good on paper.  We won X HIT and have X titles; what is that dog worth to you after the trialling is over?  What can he do when your sheep are on the road side running for the hills or need to be put on a trialer in the middle of a rainstorm?  Those are questions that are only answered when the need for them arrives, no judge can answer it for you.  Sometimes its difficult to keep your eye on the end game when there are so many temptations to sell out for the easy route.
So that being said I've not worked as much as I'd like the last couple weeks.  Often I'm frustrated and sad; the dogs pick up on it and act different each in their own way.  Patsy is worried, Sally is too just different and Abby well she just ignores me:-))  I've got to find the joy of training again.  This weekend we are headed to GA to work cattle/sheep/ducks with Abby and Patsy(who knows maybe Sally will get a shot).  I'm searching for something, sure hope I find it soon!